I’ve never had a blog but kind of like the idea

I’ve never had a blog and always thought they were superfluous and wondered if anyone read them.  But I decided to go ahead and do it.  For myself.  Was actually one of my New Year’s “Intentions” as I’ve wanted to learn how to openly, and even publicly, express myself.

I have been struggling with feeling grounded lately, which isn’t terribly surprising as I try to create a life for me here in Hawaii.  Sometimes I still wonder how I got here.  I logically know the steps I have made, but I am not so sure I have been as present as I’d like to be through the process of change.

Went running this morning. I find running to be meditative and more effective than sitting cross-legged on the floor and trying to empty my mind.  What I noticed today for the first time is I run with my index finger and thumb touching, as in the Gyan Mudra you so often see in Buddha statues.  I found that to be entertaining and somewhat delightful.  The Mudra apparently has many benefits, one being the relaxation of the mind.  I need more of that.

I ended my run in Kapiolani Park across the street from the Diamond Head Community Garden near my home.  I plopped down on the grass and lay flat on my back, and staring up into the sky.  The grass was beaded with water but I didn’t care.  I try to remember that I am grounded and that everything will be okay in the end.  I moved into childs pose, my face planted into the wet grass.  As I inhaled the scent of the grass and felt it tickle my nose I felt a sense of joy.  I stayed there for a while, reminding myself of who I am, where I’ve been, and letting myself feel the anxiety and excitement of the unknown future.  As I write this, I still have grass all over me am itchy and sweaty –  I really should shower.  But I don’t really care, I’m enjoying the moment.

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