Wanting the year to end, wanting it to go on.

I didn’t even realize the semester was over next week.  I guess I prob haven’t noticed a lot of things lately.  Rightly so.  I feel sad.  But I’m ready for this to be over.  “This” being my year of adjustment.  I don’t feel completely settled by any means, but knowing I survived (almost) a year of grad school is comforting and rewarding.  Perhaps I shouldn’t speak too soon, not done yet!  I can’t say I was a spectacular student but I did my best.  Was my best good enough?  I guess I’ll find out soon.  I really feel like I fumbled through the semester, the entire year really.  I was hit with much more stress than I expected with working, being a full-time student,  family issues and now my health.  It hasn’t been easy.  But I’m still here and still pretty happy.

My first semester was ridiculously fun, but almost as equally difficult.  I didn’t take very good care of myself and was a bit reckless in my behavior but I had a great time.  Leaving the working world was awesome and having all the free time was wonderful. But eventually that wasn’t working  for me and I have learned that it is best for me to have some sort of work to do or I get unmotivated and depressed.  Not having a place to go to study/work and staying at home by myself a lot did not help.  I am happy with my fellow cohorts in the program and I’ve met some great folks.  I was able to connect well with quite a few people.  But spreading my wings and Continue reading

2004, thyroid no more. 2011…?

Koko Head Crater hike

Walked up Koko Head Crater today.  There is something about walking to the top of a hill, volcano or mountain that I find very therapeutic.  Maybe it’s because if I feel like I can’t control anything around me, I can at least accomplish this thing in front of me.  I’ve always viewed running or paddling races the same.  I didn’t like the hike, it was like one long stairway, crowded and really hot.   Everyone looked so miserable.  Kind of like when you see people at the gym on one of the cardio machines, looking terribly unhappy and as if they are going to keel over.  But the hike was a good workout I suppose and had nice views.It’s amazing how your perspective can change so quickly.

Long story, but I’ve had no thyroid since 2004 and found out from a recent blood test that my levels are too low and may have been for years (or not).  The thyroid regulates metabolism, temperature, energy levels, weight, etc.  so if it’s not at accurate levels, it can throw everything off.  But my dose of synthroid increased and I’m sure things will level out sooner or later and I will be fine.  I had been stressing out to a point of panic the past few weeks over school, work and going overseas for the summer.  Then I realize that Continue reading