well, that was a bad idea

Chemistry and biology at the same time during a 6-week summer session was most definitely not the greatest idea I’ve had. Therefore, I dropped biology yesterday.  What a great decision it was!  I appreciate my ambitious nature but I was beginning to question my sanity.  It has been a long and exhausting summer.  Or more like a long and busy spring that bled into summer and hasn’t stopped since.

A bit sad right now that the wonderful elation I was feeling from my time in Mozambique has significantly waned, mostly due to overwhelming myself with school and work.  Only back a little over 3 weeks and it feels like it never happened. But I trust it will come back.  Amazing experiences always Continue reading

Name change

Ka'ena Point, Wai'nae side Oahu

One of my new favorite past times is walking down to the beach and floating in the sea. Stretching my legs and arms into a T, closing my eyes, and feeling the hot sun on my face.  The world around me is silent.  I can hear myself breathe.  Suddenly, my mind goes blank, worries dissolve and I imagine myself drifting out in the middle of the ocean, the only person in the world.

So decided to change the name of my blog.  I didn’t really like the previous name and figured it would be temporary.  I am not sure I like this name either, but I do like to float on the surface of water.  It works best in the ocean because of the salt water of course, but if you hold your breath, it works in a pool or lake too.  I also am unsure I can say I’m a humanist.  It sounds a little pretentious to me (as does do-gooder).

I believe it’s very much possible to be a humanist and hedonist.  I’m not even sure what that means but I like to think it’s caring about the well-being of “humanity” (including human dignity) and enjoying (and prioritizing) life’s pleasures.  I hope to grow in balancing both.

Maybe a future blog name can have ‘humanistic hedonist’ in the title.  Or ‘hedonistic humanitarian’.  Nice.

Unexpected and amazing relapse into a (recent) former life.

My mind has been swirling with all sorts of thoughts that I can’t seem to sort out.  I haven’t had time to think much about the past month in Mozambique, I’ve been so busy and I only just left a few days ago.  Not being able to talk closely to anyone and my lack of Portuguese language skills also took a toll:  I feel pent up and anxious but unable to talk about it.  I got used to just not talking at all about my thoughts or feelings: the most complex of things to express in English, let alone in a foreign language.  And where does one start when so much has happened?

It’s great to be back, but the malaise of the mundane has shown itself again and it’s only been a few days.  After overwhelmingly constant stimulation the world seems so still, yet busy at the same time.  Everyone is running around doing life.  Though the slow pace of Mozambique was at times maddening, it was comforting.  If it didn’t get done today, there was always tomorrow; and if not tomorrow, the following day and so on.  Or at times, not at all.

fishermen in Pemba, Mozambique

When I close my eyes, I imagine the bright sun reflecting off the sea with the fisherman slowly drifting by. I spent most of my free hours Continue reading