Since I’ve graduated I feel:
Elated because I’m free to live my life with out meaningless course work and grad school deadlines.
Terrified because I have no idea what’s next.
Excited because the new life I was looking for when I moved here is graduating (excuse the pun) to a new level.
I came here to start a new life that felt more authentic. Graduate school was the avenue I chose to get here and now that I’m finished, there’s time to see where I’ve landed. So here I am, looking around in a bit of a stupor. My place in Hawaii has shifted from student to…. I don’t know.
For now I’m going to sit in the afterglow of graduating and enjoy the stillness.
I love this article, “Dear Gloomy Self-it’s ok to be you” from Elephant Journal by Kelli Prieur. Accepting who you are, however you may feel in the moment, is key to happiness! And important to remember it’s just a moment that will pass in time.
I‘m 20 pages and 2 passing grades away from graduating. It feels great! It is indeed anticlimactic so far. Once I graduate, I am expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and enthusiastically announce , “YOU DID IT”. Or a parade down Kalakaua would suffice: me riding on a float of flowers, waving my hand like Miss America. For now there’s not much celebration but it has begun to quiet down, mostly in my head.
So in three years I quit my job, moved to Hawaii, managed to pass all my classes (so far), lost a parent (that’s a whammy), started a committed relationship and finished my final research project. Most importantly, I’ve acquired three NREM t-shirts. I have spent hours agonizing how long it’s taken me, but now I see it’s amazing I’ve accomplished such greatness in only three years.
And today was probably my last bike ride from campus, around Diamond Head, Kalakua to Waikiki and back home. I’m ok with that, there are many new bike routes ahead of me. Though I do feel sad as things slowly come to an end. I haven’t graduated yet so I won’t linger long on the changes to come.