I miss…something. Not sure what.

It’s been over a month since I’ve graduated and I don’t feel like I’ve moved much.  Physically, yes, but mentally I’m not so sure.  Not working has been great but the nagging feeling that I should be looking for a job weighs on me.  And I have been looking, though not all that different from graduate school, it never ends and it’s completely self-motivated.  Motivation is the key word here.

Part of my hesitation of investing more time into a job search is: a)  I am ambivalent about being a professional again (think: game face all the time); b)  I know once I start working full-time I’ll wish I had more time off; and c) I am not quite certain there are a lot of available jobs in my field in Hawaii and I’m scared to find out.

Strange being in what feels like the no-mans-land of life.  No job, no school, just sort of floating around.  Yet it’s very freeing to be in this place and still be okay with it all.  A few years ago I would have been ridden with anxiety.  I do wonder what will come my way, wondering if anything will come my way, but trusting in the journey is all I can really do.

Off to Seattle, Vancouver and San Francisco this week.  I’m looking at it as my last hurrah before my paid vacations will be 2-weeks… if I’m lucky.

 

 

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