At this moment, in two weeks, I’ll be departing to California. I can’t figure out if it’s because I’m leaving or if I’ve just learned to be a happier person, but these past few weeks have been amazing. Shortly after I decided to move, I made the conscious decision to live in the moment and enjoy myself as much as possible until I leave. I understand that it may be a while until I return to Hawaii and I may never have the chance to live here again; I want to spend my time relishing my Hawaii ohana and the immense beauty that surrounds me. Outside of work, I’ve been mostly surfing, spending time with friends, gardening, hiking, etc. Of course I’ve spent time packing and taking care of the particulars of moving, but I’ve been able to simplify the process due to choices I’ve made.
Making this choice to live in the moment has been revolutionary for me. I normally would be suffering from crippling anxiety and instead I’ve decided not to worry about my future until I have to. I’m going to let life unfold in California when I get there. And I’m not afraid. I feel like this is how I’m supposed to live – moment by moment, trusting myself – and I have somehow now just learned this at 39.
A word that has come to mind lately is “liberated”. I’m okay with not knowing the future. I’m okay not knowing if things will work out or not when I move. I’m okay with trusting things WILL work out…whether it’s in California or elsewhere.
The bigger question is…what will I call my blog???